Far-left activists around the world have been forced to deny they are planning a massive party to celebrate the fall of Western civilisation.
After decades of actively campaigning against capitalism, activists were said to be pausing for reflection and not looking to exploit any opportunity, whatsoever, to seize the means of production, at all, should society collapse at free-fall speed into its own carbon footprint. One radical, stroking his chin with anticipation while winking at a bearded ally, said: “Obviously this is just…really, really terrible.”
Crowds of impressionable youths and insufferable students in their mid-twenties gathered in the rain earlier today to have their darkest fears about the future stoked by would-be revolutionaries keen to pander to their irrational anger in the run up to Judgement Day.
One anxiety-ridden male, spitting shards of broken glass while clutching a half-brick and a can of spray paint, claimed he was sick of being afraid for his safety, before lobbing a flammable projectile at a taxi queue and punching someone in the face. He continued: “This is what happens when we let filthy, dirty, Leave-voting Brexit scum go around generalising large sections of society and dehumanising people. That fucking whore Theresa May has normalised misogyny and thanks to everyone else on the political spectrum, except us, the world has become a very dangerous and hateful place.”
When asked about his own behavior he resented the question and declined to comment.
More to follow.