“Neo-liberalism”, or Your miserable life summed up in 167 words

Neo-liberalism is a big concept. But also a fundamental one as it’s the political cultural and economic soup we all swim in.

The big issue about neo-liberalism is that there are lots of stupid working class people everywhere and people like me on the left are forced to talk to them about stuff sometimes.

This forces us to think of new ways to patronise the masses we hope to one day use as political battering rams in the socialist revolution of the future – where wiser and cleverer people like me are finally in charge.

Here I have written a simple explanation of neo-liberalism that working class people will hopefully relate to because it is not just simplified language but also evocative of their actual lived experience.   So sit down and strap yourselves in while I break it all down for you plebs:

“The local shops shutting since a new tesco’s getting built,

I thought I’d check it out, went in sceptical

Had to walk twenty miles just to get some bread and milk,

Then got diverted at the checkout by a clothing section end up flippin oot bought some pens,

pepsi,

lilt,

a craftmatic adjustable bed,

a lamp,

a feathered quilt,

a pair of stilettos,

salt and pepper ,

a kilt,

a pair of stilts,

First person to mention my free will, is getting killed,

Luckily there’s a pretty woman sitting on the edge of the till

Offering me instant loans to help me wae ma credit bills,

That’s twisted,

I warned her I was hamfisted

But she says I’m eligible despite the fact I’m blacklisted,

She said if I just drop the attitude and lighten up then I could find a proper job just like her,

She said I ought to take some time to think about the things worth fighting fur,

I dropped the shopping bags and started fighting her”

You’re welcome.


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