Nicola Sturgeon is in “a very strong position” according to Nicola Sturgeon, following a meeting with UK Prime Minister Theresa May.
Sensing an opportunity to make the imminent collapse of Western civilisation about Scottish independence, First Minister Ms Sturgeon repeated the words “I am in a strong position” to herself in the toilet of a conference centre as she got psyced up for another game of referendum chicken.
Sturgeon, continued: “I swear I’ll do it. I’m not bluffing. I’ll definitely do it just you wait and see. Any minute now. Hello? Is anybody there?”
More to follow.